| I was in a 15 year relationship with my ex and we share two children together. During our relstionship, my ex would verbally, emotionally and mentally abuse me, and there were times when he would physically abuse and he threatened to kill me on several occasions. I left a few times but would go right back because of his verbal threats. I remember I left him one time and he would constantly call, and text me. And when I didn’t answer, he would call all three of my kids nonstop back to back just to find out where we were.It was mental torture for all of us. He would use the kids as an excuse by telling me that I’m keeping him from his kids. This was his way of making me feel guilty and luring me back to the apartment. It worked. I would go back to our apartment and it would start all over again. The last time I went back, he went out and came back home drunk. He started an argument with me at 4am when all three of my kids were sleeping. He threatened to kill my entire family. We argued all morning. Then when I got up to take a shower, he started arguing with me again. He grabbed me by my neck and threw me on the bed. I managed to get him off of me but he looked different. It was like his eyes were completely black and his words to me were, “I still have my old ways in me. I still know how to get rid of a body. You know how to fly? Let’s see if you can fly.” The way he was standing, was not him. He didn’t look like himself at all. It was then I decided to leave once again. I left with my kids and went across state lines. When he saw that I was gone for good, he decided to use the court system as a way to control me. His lawyer submitted a warrant for the arrest of my two disabled parents, my brother and myself. This was when my nightmare really started. No one wanted to hear my side of the story and hear about the abuse that my kids and I had to endure. The judge gave him temporary custody of my two children and vacated my order of protection. I had proof that he violated the order of protection and there is a warrant out for his arrest and the judge vacated my order of protection. I was trying to protect my kids from the abuse but my hands were tied and I couldn’t protect them any longer. Their father would verbally, emotionally and mentally abuse my kids by telling them that I didn’t love them and that I was going to jail. He even told them that they were going to foster care. My daughter threatened to harm herself and when I brought this up, everyone said I lied about it. My lawyer at the time, did absolutely nothing to defend me. The kids were appoited a lawyer and she didn’t seem like she cared at all. The judge definately didn’t care for me. I was alone. Fighting this system and fighting to get my kids back. Two years later, I’m still fighting for my children and my ex is using the court system to revictimize me over and over again. He uses my kids as a pawn and he refuses to let me see my children. He violates the court order and just flat out refuses to let me see or even speak with my kids. At one point my kids told me that they do not feel safe and I called the police and ACS was called. The ACS worker interviewed my kids in front of their father and the case was closed. I was so devestated. My sister was appointed as my supervisor so I can see my kids for two hours. My ex would try to convince my sister that I am a lier and I’m delusional. when my sister informed him thst she is not partaking in any of his back and forth, he got very angry and started cursing her out, disrespecting her and threatening her. She got so fed up, she emailed to court twice and provided all the disrespectful text messages thst my ex sent. Again, nothing was done. My ex has filed a child support case on me. And he’s constantly filing petitions aginst me. All the while he continues to harrass and intimadate me through text message. I went to the court to try to file for another order of protection and the judge denied it because the judge handling my current case said that no more petitions can be filed. I’m left alone to deal with the mental torture of not knowing how my kids are, where they are, if they’re safe and still have to deal with the abuse from my ex. I feel alone. It’s like I’m going down a deep dark abyss of madness, torture and abuse and it seems like it won’t stop. I’m still enduring the abuse of my ex but telling my story on this platform allows me to vent and tell my story. Something I wanted to do from day one when all of this madness started. |
The Journey of a Domestic Violence Survivor: Healing and Resilience
By Survivor The life of a Survivor of Domestic ViolenceThe repair of the abuse is never repaired because the damage is too unrepairable, mental or physical abuse stays with the survivor for life.Future relationships will be affected by the triggers of the survivor and the relationship will usually suffer, to...
