By Mikayla Shave
At Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence (BTSADV), we recognize that over one in three women has experienced violence or sexual assault by an intimate partner. These are individuals who were once trusted and expected to care for our well-being. For many women, this alarming statistic means that when they walk into a martial arts gym, they are not just learning self-defense; they are confronting a history filled with trauma.
Facing Fear on the Mat
For women who are survivors of domestic violence, the experience of stepping onto the mat for the first time can be especially daunting. These women may find themselves facing training partners of various sizes and skill levels, all while grappling with the memories and emotions tied to their past experiences. The very act of learning Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) can feel like revisiting a space of violence they have worked so hard to escape.
Witnessing a demonstration of techniques such as escaping the Full Mount or Closed Guard can be intimidating. So, why choose Jiu-Jitsu? Why re-enter a realm that may trigger past trauma? The answer lies in the transformative power of this martial art. BJJ teaches us not only how to survive a physical attack but also equips us with the tools to regain control over our lives, emotions, and even our responses to stressors.
From Victim to Warrior
In learning to escape from potential violence, survivors may relive painful memories, reminiscent of an abusive childhood. The first weeks can feel like walking on eggshells, a reaction rooted in past experiences of fear and anxiety. However, as they continue their training, these women learn to wear their bruises with pride rather than shame. The road to mastering self-defense is not immediate; it requires regular practice and commitment, fostering muscle memory and resilience.
The structured environment of a BJJ class allows participants to feel someone’s weight on their chest and learn to breathe through the discomfort. In moments of heightened adrenaline, Jiu-Jitsu empowers women to control their reactions, emotions, and nervous systems during challenging situations.
Societal expectations often dictate that women should be gentle and passive. However, mastering self-defense techniques equips women with a plan of action and the confidence to stand their ground. Through Jiu-Jitsu, practitioners learn not only how to escape from potential threats but also how to “submit” an attacker, using techniques that can neutralize a dangerous situation.
Rebuilding Trust and Self-Compassion
As a survivor of domestic violence, I know all too well the struggle against an inner critic. My journey in Jiu-Jitsu has taught me to quiet that critic and embrace imperfection. It took months of training in a supportive environment, where coaches encouraged positivity, for me to let go of my relentless pursuit of excellence.
The lessons extend beyond the mat. Driving home after class, I’ve noticed a shift in my demeanor; I’m no longer in a rush, but rather I find myself letting others into traffic and embracing patience. The most profound change has been my ability to trust—not just myself but others as well. Jiu-Jitsu requires a high level of trust, urging survivors to confront the very feelings they once swore never to experience again.
Safety is paramount in combat sports, with coaches emphasizing the importance of protecting one another during training. New students are gradually introduced to more advanced techniques, ensuring that safety remains a priority.
Finding Freedom Through Mistakes
Many survivors of domestic violence carry the burden of perfectionism, often rooted in their abusive pasts. In Jiu-Jitsu, I discovered a space where mistakes are part of the learning process. There are no harsh consequences for missteps, only opportunities to refine techniques until they become second nature.
Through my training, I learned to extend kindness to myself, cultivating a sense of friendliness and gentleness. As my confidence grew, I partnered with more advanced students, knowing they were skilled enough to ensure my safety. In this environment, the “victim” transforms into a warrior, capable of defending herself while maintaining compassion and kindness.
Embracing the Warrior Within
Jiu-Jitsu taught me that strength does not require anger or aggression; instead, it thrives on awareness and calmness. As I navigate the scattered pieces of my past trauma, I have reclaimed my identity as a warrior. Through this martial art, I have found a pathway to healing, gratitude, and empowerment.
At BTSADV, we encourage women to embrace the transformative power of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Together, we can break the cycle of abuse and create a community that supports healing, strength, and resilience. Join us in celebrating the journey from victim to warrior. #BTSADV #DomesticViolence #BrazilianJiuJitsu #Empowerment.
Source:
Pirkl, Anna. “A Mindful Path of Trauma Recovery with Gracie Jiu-Jitsu.” The Institute for
Creative Mindfulness, 10 Sept. 2018, www.instituteforcreativemindfulness.com/icm-
blog-redefine-therapy/a-mindful-path-of-trauma-recovery-with-Gracie-jiu-jitsu-by-anna-
pirkl-ma-lmft-atr-bc-lacdc/. Accessed 3 June 2024.
