By Survivor Angela
**The following is written by a survivor of domestic violence and abuse who found her strength after DV. Names have been changed to protect all involved.**
Covid Times Made Me Vulnerable
When the World shut down in March 2020 the internet became a vulnerable time for meeting new people. My man and I started our relationship through mutual friends on Facebook. He was from SCV, California and I lived there for nearly 13 years before moving to Huntington Beach, Ca.
This began a year long distance relationship as he had lived in North Dallas Texas. All in all, he was a single dad of a healthy 7 year old son and a 3 year old daughter who was born severely disabled (under 24 care). I saw a man with the love of God and the most loving, giving heart.
In 2021 I uprooted my whole life from HB to North Dallas, Texas as on Christmas 2020 he asked me to be his wife. My adult son stayed in California with his girlfriend and father.
I felt that God was leading me to this new life. And it was going to be hard with all he had on his plate. I was ready and open to give my all to be a good wife and step mom.
We Married Quickly
Once I got settled and married, as he wanted to set a date rather quick, the red flags started.
He was a closet alcoholic and soon became a person I questioned. He was very manipulative, pretty much a con. The more I caught on, the more I would let him know that he was not the man he portrayed and this life is not for me.
He was stuck bc he had his children to raise. Nurses left, CPS were called a few times, friends and family became aware of his drinking and his behavior. He was heading to a road of either prison or death. However, I tried to help in any way. In hopes he would get sober. However, he was in denial and used his daughter’s disability to get away with his path of destruction.
Still Drinking, Taking All My Strength
On June 5th, 2022, He was still on a drinking spree. He turned into this angry ugly outburst. Like normal for me I withdraw and go into my own space, the bedroom. I hate yelling and doesn’t get any him to stop. Makes things worse.
All things considered, I was going to plan an exit, fake it till I saved enough money. Because he financially emptied all I had. I NEVER told anyone what I was going through on my side, I didn’t have the strength. His parents knew. His closest friends knew. The church family knew.
The nurses that care for Brooklynn then and who quit knew every detail of what behind the closed doors. Even the deputies in Double Oak due to dome reports made.
“Had the devil in his eyes…”
He came around the bed. Had the devil in his eyes. I immediately stood up to face him. Next thing he raises his hand with a gun pointing at me. I held his wrist and looked him in the eyes. Before I knew it I was in a headlock and a flash, bang and smoke the gun went off.
I did not resist. Thank God, the gun blasted while resting off my face and causing me to walk away with a severe burn from the blast. I was held hostage for what seemed hours. When I finally got free, I ran to a neighbors home begging to call 911 as he took my phone.
I called my family. My mom flew from Maine to take me home after 30 years of being away from the nest.
Rebuilding
He was facing prison. However, he died in March 2023 because he drank himself to death. This man was convinced he would not go to prison. He made sure of it because, God forbid he tell the truth and take responsibility.
There are lots more details to my story. This is the shortest version.
I am alive!
Stronger than ever. I am rebuilding slowly. Toughest road I have traveled thus far, but I came out with strength and resilience. I was shattered and as the years pass I am restored more and more each day. All in all, I want to share because it is healing.
I deserve it.
Check These Resources:
- Understanding Coercive Control
- Online Dating Safety
- Complete Guide to Mindful Meditation, and Emotional Healing.
- The Hidden Impact of Teen Dating Violence
- Find Support with BTSADV
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