By Survivor
**The following is written by a survivor of domestic violence and abuse, recounting their story. Descriptions and details may be too graphic for some. Names have been changed to protect all involved.**
Surviving Abuse as a Transgender Teen in an Unsafe Home
I’m sixteen years old, transgender (female-to-male), though at times I feel nonbinary or in between. I’m also autistic, have ADHD, and live with C-PTSD from years of trauma. These parts of me matter because they shape how I experience the world—and, sadly, how people have used my differences against me.
My story isn’t easy to tell. I’ve experienced abuse most of my life and still live in a home that isn’t safe. I’m writing this because I want to survive, and I want someone to finally listen.
My Early Years: Betrayal and Trauma
My biological father began abusing me when I was still a small child—just three or four years old. What he did was horrific. He hurt me physically, sexually, and emotionally for years. His girlfriend joined in the abuse, and his friends did too.
My mom shared custody with him, so I was forced to return again and again. When I was at my mom’s home, I wasn’t safe there either. Her ex-husband abused me, my mom, and my stepsister. He controlled us financially, emotionally, and physically until I was about eleven.
Those experiences taught me fear before I even understood what safety was.
The Present: Living With My Abuser
Now, the person hurting me is my own mother. She uses cruel control masked as concern. She twists my words, mocks my trauma, and punishes me for needing space. When I try to calm down, she stares at me with anger until I’m terrified. She won’t let me call for help.
She takes my phone, my main coping tool, so I can’t reach out to my therapist or friends. she records me during panic attacks or flashbacks, then shows the videos to police or relatives, twisting the story to make it seem like I’m unstable. When I showed officers injuries from when she hit or choked me, they still said I was lying.
She’s even invaded my privacy—recording me in the shower while half-dressed and FaceTiming relatives during it. That violation never leaves my mind.
Surviving Abuse: When Identity Becomes Another Weapon
My mom constantly brings up the fact that I’m transgender—but only to try to shame or silence me. She tells me I’m not allowed to talk about it, claims people online have “brainwashed” me, and says she’s protecting me from “mental harm.” But it’s not protection—it’s control and erasure.
My being transgender isn’t the problem. Her refusal to respect or understand who I am is. I’ve never been “influenced” by strangers online—I’ve simply done my own research, trying to understand myself in a world that punishes people like me for existing.
The System Fails Too
I’ve asked for help—again and again. The police, teachers, and even some mental health professionals have dismissed me because I “don’t have proof.” But that’s impossible when my evidence—my phone, my space, my autonomy—is taken from me. They see me as a “difficult teen” instead of a traumatized child stuck in an abusive system.
No one should have to prove they’re being hurt to deserve safety.
To Anyone Reading This
If you’ve been through or are living through something like this, you’re not alone. Abuse thrives in silence, especially when you’re young, LGBTQ+, or neurodivergent. But your story matters. You deserve to be believed and supported.
I’m still surviving—and I’m still here. I want a life defined not by fear, but by freedom.
If you are experiencing abuse or know a young person who is, please reach out for help. Organizations like breakthesilencedv.org connect survivors to safe resources, healing programs, and advocacy networks.
You are not broken. You are not invisible. And you deserve safety, no matter who you are or where you come from. thehotline.org
