By Survivor
I left after 14 years of coercive control.
I walked away with debt, a child, a cat, and a dog.
I asked for help everywhere I could.
I reported the abuse to police, child services, a solicitor, doctors, my workplace, and child maintenance services.
Still, nothing changed.
Everything was in his name.
Even the home I helped build.
Even the life I helped support, including two stepchildren.
I changed jobs and earned less just to cope.
I filed ten police reports.
There was nearly enough evidence for a stalking charge.
But it never happened.
I applied for housing and waited.
I stayed on the homeless register with no progress.
Having a dog made it harder.
Having a living parent made it more complicated.
That relationship was my first trauma bond.
So I found another way out.
I rented privately through someone I trusted.
I kept my address hidden from family.
I cut off all contact with my ex, except for email about our child.
I reached out for support through Yellow Door.
I am now waiting for neurological care.
My body still reacts to the trauma.
The constant survival mode has left lasting effects.
Leaving did not end the abuse.
It just changed form.
Now there is isolation.
People no longer speak to me.
I don’t know if they are uncomfortable or ashamed.
What I do know is this:
Survivors are questioned more than abusers.
Every choice is judged.
Every action is doubted.
Now I understand why some people stay.
I understand why some feel there is no way out.
This has been the hardest experience of my life.
But I am still here.
