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Angel Story: Kay

Kay’s Angel Story

Bringing you the angel story of Kay from her sister.

“Your coffin reached the monstrous hole. And a part of me went down into the muddy earth with you and lay down next to you and died with you.”

― Rosamund Lupton, Sister

——After my sister’s murder, my friend, Jane, asked, “Kim, when did it all begin?

I answered, “At the very beginning.”

The following diary entries from my sister, Kay, illustrate early indicators of domestic violence. At first, they were minor and unimportant. These pages clearly illustrate actions of disrespect, unkindness, and disregard.

An open book depicting the stories of Kay told by her sister
Words of Kay

As I read Kay’s words, what stands out the most is her desperation to be loved, respected, acknowledged, and valued by her life partner.

A picnic in the woods. Breaking bread. Drinking wine. Giving love. Receiving love. Prayer.

So simple. So practical.

…Yet it never happened.

On May 26, 2010, Kay’s estranged husband snuck up behind her as she was leaving for her daily walk and shot her 3 times in the head. He then turned the gun on himself.

I have a hundreds of her early journal entries.

Kay – May 29, 1984

Dear, God,

Please let something happen in this marriage. I can’t stand it anymore. He’s such a gross pig. He has not morals and absolutely mixed up priorities. I really don’t’ know what to do. Please get me out of this. Please make it good. I am so confused. I would like to be loved and respected and I am definitely not.

Kay – July 2, 1985

Dear, God

I feel confused and totally out of control of my life. This seems to be a time of serious self-evaluation. I understand some things about myself now. I am afraid to give love and show kindness because of rejection. On the other hand, I want so much to give it.

I want to be wanted for who I am.

I don’t feel needed and want so much to have a stable, normal relationship and life.

I want to hold hands and be kissed and I want somebody to give me complements, too.

June 15, 1986

Dear, God

I really need to know what to do. This can’t be it. Is it selfish of me to want more, to want to be something, to want to be loved and cared for? Is it wrong that I want to be respected?

I can’t try anymore in this relationship.

I just don’t care anymore.

I feel like I have tried with him.

We are just so different.

I don’t feel I can be me with him (Whatever “Me” means.)

April 1, 1987

Dear, God,

Why doesn’t he make me feel more important? He doesn’t’ seem to want to share anything with me. I’m so confused with all of this. He just doesn’t seem to care. Give me the strength to shower him with love even if I don’t’ get it back. Please make him more loving and gentle with me.

December 7, 1988

Dear, God,

I so much want to be terrific at one thing. To put all of my energy into one thing and to be recognized as a person with a special gift who helps others. I would so much love to walk in the woods with somebody who loves me with a picnic basket filled with fruit, French bread, and a bottle of wine. I’d love to go to a cabin in the wilderness and eat a romantic lunch in front of a fireplace and sit on a lovely rug and just have somebody love me.

That’s what I want.

—-When Kay finally decided to leave Mike Peterson, he wouldn’t allow it. He shot her three times in the back of the head as she was walking out the front door.

It was the darkest day of my life & I shall mourn the loss of her forever.

— Kay’s story doesn’t need to be your story. Get Help Today. TELL. Speak Up. Rise Up. You are worth EVERYTHING.

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