My Story – Barbara

It started after I met him in 1988. Things were great, we dated 3 years then got engaged. After the wedding in 1992 it started. He would go for walks at night…he would start at 11 and get home at 2, drunk. He would yell at me and say I’m the size I am because I don’t walk with him. Well, he had list his job so I had to go to work for our health insurance.

Fast forward to when we bought our house. His drinking got worse. We could not drive anywhere unless he had beer with him in the car. He would go for walks and would have beer with him. He kept losing jobs, his temper was terrible. He would drink all night then sleep until mid morning. We fought all the time. It was so bad I would have to grab my things and ran to his sister’s house. I would always make my way home. We still fought, the verbal abuse was horrible. I have been away from him for 20 years and I can still hear his words. The last few months together all he called me was a c**t. He planned a 40th surprise party for me and because his family did not want to do as he said, they all started canceling. He if course took it all out on me. He gad bought alot of the things for the party and after he canceled he made me match everything to the receipts and return them to the store. In October of 2003 was the turning point. He demanded I did not see my family or friends for 1 year so we could work on our relationship. I told him they were not the problem. That was the wrong thing to say to him. He choked me so bad after I said that. Then I told him he must feel like such a big man choking me. He said next I will kill you. He went around and shut all the windows and just started kicking me and shoving me. I grabbed my things and left. Once again I found my way back but he would not talk to me.

One night after he came home from his walk, so drunk he couldn’t stand up straight, he went down the basement to drink more. I heard something hitting the concrete floor. I had no idea what that was. He came up and said to me, did you hear that? Did you hear the baseball bat hitting the floor? Next time you see that bat I will bash your head in.
I did not sleep at all that night. He of course did not sleep with me. The next night he didn’t come home until midnight. I was in the living room watching tv but not really paying attention to it. I had been a mess and at this point I had list about 20 pounds because of my nerves. He comes over to me on the couch and says, are you tired, why don’t you go to bed. I said what do you care, he said well, you go to bed tonight you won’t wake up in the morning. Another night I didn’t sleep. My brother came the next day after I called him hysterically. With him, he brought a baseball bat and just stood outside waiting for my ex. I just grabbed as many garbage bags I could and filled them with my things and never went back.

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