July 4th, 2005
I wish that this was the only time that this happened. We were sitting in our bedroom discussion our upcoming trip to see my mom get remarried and he said he didn’t want to go. I made the mistake of suggesting that I go alone so he didn’t have to worry. Something inside of him snapped. He moved so he was able to kick me across the bed and sat down on top of me. Most of it is a blur to me, but I remember him punching me in the face repeatedly and smashing a cup on my face while he choked me. He then grabbed a shard of the glass and stabbed me a few times. Somehow I was able to scream “Stop!” I was bleeding from my broken nose, the cuts in my face and my abdomen.
At the hospital, I lied to the police. I was so scared to tell them what really happened because I was all alone in the city. Over the two years I had lived there, he had alienated me from all my friends and was trying to alienate me from my family that lived in other states. When we went to the wedding, I lied to my family as well about what happened. Later they told me that they knew but didn’t want to say anything.
On July 20th, 2008, he tried to kill me again. By this time, he had become so addicted to drugs that we lost the house we were renting and almost all our possessions. We were living in my mom’s basement. I woke up in the middle of the night to him trying to bash my head in with a laundry basket. I kept screaming for him to stop but he didn’t for over a minute. He had heard his dog barking and was blaming me for it. I still went to work that morning with my hair matted with blood and pieces of the laundry basket. At that moment I realized that if I stayed with him, I would die.
A few weeks later on August 13th, I made the decision to leave him. While I was pulling out of the driveway to work, I told him I wanted a divorce. After I said this, he started chasing after me and screamed he was going to kill himself. I called the police to tell them the situation and they went to the house. I agreed with him I’d stay on the condition he’d check himself into the hospital for his mental illness. Two days later, I served him with divorce papers while he was still there.
My divorce was finalized September 11th, 2008. Even after the divorce was finalized he was threatening to kill me. Shortly after the divorce was finalized, I took a call from a blocked number. It was a police officer telling me to go into hiding. My ex had somehow bought a gun and showed it to his therapist. He had told her he was going to tie me up, pour gasoline on me then set me on fire. After I give him what money I had he was going to shoot me in the head in front of my mother. Thankfully, they caught him before he was able to find me and went to jail.
To this day, I still get nightmares about him. It’s been 15 years since I left and I still panic when I hear someone with his name or I accidentally see a picture with him in it. I endured sexual, financial, physical, and emotional abuse from about 6 months into our marriage daily until I left. Teens should never have to endure this level of abuse. I’m so glad to be alive today with a husband that is understanding and loves me with all my scars. #btsadv #enddv #mystory
