Survivor Story: My Ex Abused Me and Both of Our Infant Sons

Written by: BTSADV Survivor

My story is pretty simple and probably not unlike many others. We were 21 and 20 when we first met. I thought he was just the sweetest guy. We were dating and making proclamations of love pretty quickly. Then, when my mom kicked me out suddenly, I thought it would be all right if I went to live with him and his family. Neither one of us was working, just in college, so we lived with family.

It wasn’t long before we were always arguing. I never imagined he would have put his hands on me, but he did. Once he crossed that line, the abuse only got worse over time. He went from strangulating me and hitting me with his hands to hitting me with objects. Then he started cutting me. Later, he would burn me while I was pregnant. He burned me several times.

I always forgave him because I always thought it would get better, especially when I became pregnant – but I was wrong. He would hit our infant son for no reason. Then when I became pregnant immediately after having our first son, I continued to think things would get better. After our second son was born, I started realizing he would never stop. I didn’t want my sons to grow up being abused, but I didn’t know how to escape. He kept me so isolated as a stay at home mom.

One day, when my youngest was about nine months old, my ex drove all of us out to a lonely road on a hot day. It was the middle of the afternoon, and the road was sun baked and extremely hot. My ex placed our nine-month-old, who could barely crawl along on his belly, in the middle of the road. My son sustained second-degree burns on both arms from the hot pavement.

After my ex drove us all back home, he ordered me to take the kids and go to the store. I knew this was my moment to escape. I drove away with my children and called 911. Now, my ex is in prison. He was arrested in June 2015. He was sentenced to 17 years to life in prison.

My sons are now five and four years old and are healthy and happy little boys. Thankfully, they don’t remember anything, and my youngest doesn’t have any scars from the burns. It really hurt to write this and remember all these things. I hope that sharing my story can help someone find the courage to escape or help someone find hope after living through abuse.

**If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there is help. You can visit the Break the Silence website at www.breakthesilencedv.org, chat with one of our helpline advocates at 855-287-1777, or send a private message through our Facebook page.

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