On a warm Summer’s evening, she stands confidently in front of the full length mirror admiring her newly bought navy blue dress that came just above her knee. She notices that her long Brown wavy hair now sits comfortably on her waist and she smiles. She’s never seen herself like this before, this is an unfamiliar image smiling back at her. For the first time ever… she feels pretty.
She’s been invited to a party, and is feeling good about it, if a little apprehensive, but in all honesty she’s ”pissing her knickers excited”! She slips on her whiter than white (slightly snug) Reebok Classics, grabs her jacket and takes one last look in the mirror before opening the front door, and as she does this, the warmth of the world outside instantly hits her in the face and for a quick second takes her breath away, so she decides against the jacket, throws it on the stairs behind her and slams the door.
As she’s making her way there, she begins to notice just how snug the trainers actually are and with every step she takes she can feel them rubbing against her bare ankles, she stops for a moment to try and make them more comfortable and as she does so she sees the bright red stains already beginning to appear. Shit! She’s running late now and doesn’t have time to go all the way back home, so she stubbornly keeps going and thinks to herslf that she can have a quick clean up when she gets there.
The usual short 10 minute walk seems to be taking a lifetime, she’s starting to limp now,”come on, girl” she says to herself ”ignore the stinging and just hurry up and get there”. Finally, She’s nearly there, she can hear the ‘doof doof doof’ of the music and as she gets nearer, she hears one particular laugh that she would recognise anywhere it’s so bubbly and is guaranteed to always stand out from the crowd. She’s instantly put at ease and is relieved to see her friend who she’s known since forever. She’s even managed to forget all about the pain (and the limp).
Her friend turns and is just as happy to see her, they greet eachother with their usual hug, except this one felt different, this hug went on for a lot longer than normal and became slightly awkward, she even had a peck on the lips from her which totally stunned her, then she realised that her friend tasted of alcohol and cigarettes… ”Cheers for that” she thought to herself as she wiped her mouth. Her friend held tightly on to her hand complimenting her, very enthusiastically, (although some would say loudly) on how gorgeous she looked in her dress. She could feel herself going beetroot red, she hated compliments. As she was being dragged through the house, they arrived at the huge table that sat in the middle of the Living Room, to see that it had an excessive amount of brightly coloured alcohol laid out for everyone to help themselves to. She poured them both a drink into a plastic cup. Ugh, It tasted foul, it was like paint thinner, it was burning her gums…maybe it was paint thinner?
She carried on drinking regardless of the burning sensation, she was at a party after all and at this moment in time she didn’t really care what was in the cup. As the night continued, the drinks were flowing (way too easy) and the music was loud, so loud you couldn’t hear yourself think let alone hear what someone was screaming in your ear? But it was so good and she’s having too much of a good time, and with the help of the paint thinner she started to feel her confidence growing. She’s been a lover of dancing ever since she can remember, whether on her own or with friends, she never cared who was watching and what they may have thought of her, in all honesty that seemed to be the only time that she was able to forget about the world and was genuinely happy.
As the night goes on and the effects of the alcohol begin to kick in, she notices the dimly lit room beginning to spin, she looks across the room and with a lot of squinting and concentration she can just about make out her friend snogging a boy that nobody ever wanted to get with, she laughs to herself, makes a mental note to rip the piss out of her the following day, stumbles and loses her balance, she’s pretty clumsy anyway but luckily for her this time there’s a man who seems nice enough and stops her from falling flat on her face and making a complete tit of herself.
She had noticed him earlier on in the night sitting in the corner of the room, he seemed to be on his own, a drink in one hand, cigarette in the other and thought nothing else of it, she had also noticed that he had been watching her dance so when she did stumble on to him he barely reacted and seemed to shrug off her overly intoxicated apologetic behaviour. So she thinks nothing more of it and makes her way over to her friend.
As she gets closer she realises her friend’s no longer in the same room as her and in her drunken state, she doesn’t seem too bothered by it. Then all of a sudden she feels a tight grip around her waist and feels someone touching her hair, her long wavy hair that she was so happy with at the beginning of the evening, she’s taken by surprise thinking that her friend has found her…
She turns quickly…
It’s not her friend…
It’s the man that helped her earlier.
She smiles at him but he doesn’t smile back. She then notices he’s got a grip on her waist that starts to tighten, to the point of leaving a mark on her. She’s confused and doesn’t feel comfortable with this. She doesn’t want him to touch her. She should’ve moved his hand away. She should’ve gone home but she can’t abandon her friend like that…can she? She realises that she’s frozen in fear at this point and tries her hardest to make eye contact with a familiar face. She tries to back away from him but there’s no point, compared to her tiny frame he’s a lot bigger than her and he subtly keeps pulling her towards him. Looking from the outside in you’d swear they were ta couple but she’s never seen him before?
He keeps saying things to her that she can’t make sense of so she smiles politely in the hope that he’ll eventually get bored and lose interest in her. Her head is so full of alcohol and all of a sudden her mind begins to feel muggy…and just like that, everything stops.
And it’s terrifyingly quiet.
It was as if someone had slapped the alcohol out of her system for her to notice that she’s no longer in the room full of people and noise…
She’s on her back on a bed.
Looking up at the ceiling.
She’s in a room with the man she’s never seen before.
How did she get there?
Why can’t she think straight?
He’s touching her.
Why is he touching her?
She can’t find her voice.
He yanks at her dress…the brand new navy blue dress.
The screams for him to stop seem so loud.
But they’re only in her head.
why isn’t he stopping?
Why is he pulling her knickers down?
She can feel her eyes welling up and a tear slowly falls down her cheek.
He sees.
He doesn’t stop.
He climbs on top of her.
The weight of his body is suffocating and the smell of him makes her feel like she’s about to throw up,
Why is he doing this to her?
She just wanted to have a nice time?…
As he stands up to unbuckle his belt she clambers off the bed and just drops to the floor like a rag doll and in that same moment, the door bursts open. She’s scared to see who it is, but she hears her name being called. She looks up. It’s her friend, she’s safe… he shouts at them both to ‘fuck off’ and just as quickly as it all took place, he leaves.
Confused, her friend sees her lying there all dishevelled. She sees she’s been crying, her knickers around her ankles, her dress half on. She quickly grabs her under both her arms, picks her up from the floor, pulls her underwear up and sorts her dress out…the brand new navy blue one.
They go.
She’s safe.
Her friend holds her by her face wiping her tears, she’s mouthing words but she isn’t able to make out what she’s saying? She’s so baffled she doesn’t understand what’s happening? She just knows she’s got to go home. And without even caring about her bloodied ankles. She runs…
What gives him the right to do this?
She’s just a girl at a party.
She’s just a girl.
She’s just 15.
