Deep breath.
You’re here now.
You just have to press the buzzer.
They’ll let you in.
My heart is pounding.
I press the buzzer.
They’re expecting me.
They open the door.I walk in.
I’m greeted by a friendly face and a warm smile.
She leads me to a room.
She makes me a cup of Tea.
She leaves the room.
There are women already here.
I wasn’t expecting to see so many faces.
I serach for a seat.
I find one.
I sit down.
I keep my coat and bag on just incase I need to make a quick exit.
The room is uncomfortably quiet.
I’m sure they can hear my heart beating.
I feel like a fraud.
I shouldn’t be here.I’m not like these women.
He never hit me.
I sip my tea.
My hands are trembling.
We all look petrified.
Awkward smiles are exchanged (mostly by me).
I don’t want to be here.
I should go.
He’d sometimes put me down in front of my friends to make me look stupid.
He never hit me.
Another woman walks in the room.
Now’s my chance to leave.
I get ready to dart out.
She sits next to me.
She’s sitting on my bag.
I’m stuck.
Shit.
He used to touch me when I didn’t want to be touched.
He never hit me.
I definitely shouldn’t be here.
If only she’d change her position.
She looks comfy.
The friendly faced woman is back.
He used to call me frigid and would tell me it was ”like having sex with a plank of wood”.
He never hit me.
‘She explains what’s going to happen for the next 6 weeks.
He used to tell me that I was ”just like my mum”.
He never hit me.
It’s a lot to take in.
Women are crying.
They share their stories.
He used to ignore me on a daily basis.
He said I was boring.
He never hit me.
One woman is too distraught to speak.
It becomes too much for her.
She leaves.
My tea is cold.
I still hold on to it to stop me from trembling.
He would guilt trip me into having sex with him.
He never hit me.
She’s putting us into groups.
For the first time ever, I don’t want to talk.
They’re going to think that I don’t deserve to be there.
Idon’t deserve to be here.
He said I was ”going mad’ and that it must be my hormones.
He used to make me think I was losing it.
He never hit me.
We discuss different types of abuse.
Physical was bottom of the list.
He told me I was a nag.
The only way he could ‘cope’ with me was smoking weed.
He never hit me.
The session is over with already.
It’s time to go home.
He used to undermine me all the time.
He turned my son against me.
He never hit me.
She reads an extract from a book.
We leave on a positive.
He used to tell me I was selfish.
He used to tell me I only ever thought about myself.
Finally. I am.
Notice: The names in this story are fictitious to protect the request for anonymity.
