My Story – Jazlynn

I met the father of my oldest son when I was 12. He was one year older, but still in my grade. He paid so much attention to me, and I was careful to not give him too much attention back because I’d heard all the stories of his arrests, and dysfunction. We were completely different, in every way. I was a year round athlete with honors. He missed more days of school than he attended, and had no idea what it meant to be part of a team. We went into high school, with him still focused on me, calling me, showing up where I was, but never in a creepy way – just because he liked me and wanted to be around me. I still kept my distance, dated other boys freshman year and sophomore year and still he paid attention to me. He looked out for me at parties and drove me home, gave my friends rides and would come to my games. Eventually, I gave in to the chance he kept asking for and we started talking on the phone every single night. Then we kissed. Then the first thing I did when I got my license was drive to his house. I graduated high school early, essentially moved out of my parents house and isolated myself from everyone, unless they were part of his world so I could make my whole life around him. We were together for 6 years. In those years, I lost sight of every inch of the adult that I hoped to become. He didn’t rise to my level, I sunk to his underneath the alcohol and drug use, name calling, punches, strangling, kicking, burning, choking, sexual abuse, and anxiety. Then I got pregnant when I was 17, and that saved my life. I tried to make him change, now for the baby, but he wouldn’t – he couldn’t. I moved back into my parents home with my son, and when my son was 2, I was finally strong enough to end it for good. My biggest regret is not ending it sooner because my son, now 13, does have trauma from the things that he did go through in those two years. I went to college, law school, married a wonderful beautiful man who has taken my son as his own, and had two more kids. I’m working on writing a book about my experience, and I am thankful that I came out on the other side. There is hope, and it starts within. I wish more people knew how real teen dating violence is and how it can utterly take hold of the most unsuspecting teens.