12 yrs later, we were in the middle of another one of those heated discussions that started with me mentioning how I have been feeling. Big mistake. Somehow, yet again, he turned it around on me, and successfully made me into the crazy abusive, selfish bitch and him, the poor misunderstood abused, taken for granted saint.. victim I caused. At some point, I gave up again. Stopped talking. Stopped trying…I came out of the fog..I had been just sitting there, staring at the wall while he ranted, called me stupid and a few other things…again. I screamed, ENOUGH!! Who is this weak minded, emotionless person i had become…afraid to talk, stayed in the bedroom, slept all the time.. apologized for everything and anything including breathing…I called my son and said come get me…now” ! The “love bombing” and guilt strategies were in full force….I left, I left EVERYTHING I owned or cherished behind…. 2 months later…I can see myself again coming to life. It has taken so much from my son and his family to make me feel worthy again..my memory is returning..my hair Stopped falling out…I sleep 8 hrs now, not 14…I’m socializing again….I’m happy..doing things i had always loved doing before. so this is what it feels like to be happy. I had forgotten!!! I’m not there yet.dont know if i ever will get over the trauma of the abuse…but living is easier now..
Sound familiar folks? I left, I had to…I was literally dying.
No regrets….