By Survivor Ayanna
**The following is written by a survivor of domestic violence and abuse, who’s abuser would manipulate and threaten them. Names have been changed to protect all involved.**
I met her in my senior year of high school. She was charming, made me feel beautiful, and acted like I was the only girl she saw.
In the beginning, it was fun and new. We’d hang out almost every day that summer. But looking back, I realize she used her charm to manipulate me.
Using Grief to Manipulate Me
This person would often bring up the loss of her father, using it to guilt trip me. It worked, and I felt sorry for her. However, this excuse became a pattern, and she’d use it to justify her behavior.
As time passed, she became increasingly controlling. She wouldn’t let me spend time with my family, especially my dad. Another way to manipulate me. She’d get angry, and I knew what to expect.
“The fear she instilled in me was suffocating.”
There were many incidents of abuse, so many makeup covered black eyes and bruises. But one of the worst was when she hit me so hard in the head that my eardrum blew.
I lied to my family, telling them it happened because of a Q-tip. To this day, they still don’t know the truth.
Another horrific incident occurred in November 2017, just before my grandfather’s funeral. She put stitches in my face after hitting me with her phone.
I had to tell my family it was an accident.
“The abuse continued for seven long years.”
She would threaten to kill and poison my dog if I didn’t listen to her. She’d destroy my belongings. Leave me stranded in public places, and make me feel worthless. Manipulate me into submission.
But everything changed when I met my boyfriend.
I truly believe he was sent to save my life.
With his support, I finally found the courage to leave her. I left this woman by jumping out of a moving vehicle. She kept telling me that I would never be anything without her and that if she can’t have me nobody can.
Healing and Learning that No One Can Manipulate Me Any More
Now, I’m starting to heal and rediscover myself. I’ve started school, and I’m working towards finishing my program. My relationship with my dad has also healed significantly. We’re closer than ever, and he’s proud of the person I’m becoming.
My boyfriend has been patient and loving, teaching me what it means to be loved gently and truly. I still struggle with trust and independence, but he’s helping me work through those issues.
My hope is that by sharing my story, I can help others escape abusive relationships and find hope. I want people to know that they don’t have to live in fear forever. Fear of threats and someone who has to manipulate you.
And that they can create a beautiful life for themselves.
Check These Resources:
- Complete Guide to Mindful Meditation, and Emotional Healing.
- The Hidden Impact of Teen Dating Violence
- Find Support with BTSADV
Support Line
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