By Jamey Sheesley
From Chuck E. Cheese’s to karaoke, Ashli knew how to have fun and bring joy to those around her, especially her mother, Kayce.
Ashli was born in Washington state. Her father and mother divorced when she was four years old and her father obtained custody of her and her brother when Ashli was six. They then moved to a very small town near Omaha, Nebraska. Ashli’s mother would drive from Billings, Montana to see both Ashli and her brother.
From the time she was little until she passed away, Chuck E. Cheese’s was a tradition for Ashli and Kayce. They lived states apart and when Kayce came to visit every six weeks they would usually go to Chuck E. Cheese’s. They celebrated birthdays and holidays there, as well as any other excuse they could find to go.
Ashli also loved singing karaoke and choir. When she was in high school, she went on a trip to Carnage Hall in New York City and she tried out for American Idol when she was 17.
According to her mother, Ashli lit up the room everywhere she went. She had a bubbly personality. “If she walked into the room, you couldn’t help but smile,” said Kayce.
Once Ashli graduated high school, her mother helped her move to Montana with her. They enjoyed singing karaoke together at the local bar. However, they had some falling outs because both women struggled with abusive relationships. Kayce really did not want Ashli to be with her boyfriend and Ashli did not want her mom to be in her abusive relationship, either. They would reach out or help each other, but they would also fight about it. However, after their last falling out, Kayce was never able to say good-bye to her daughter. She heard that Ashli moved back to Nebraska to be with her brother and her father. She felt relieved because that probably meant she was not in that horrible relationship anymore.
Little did Kayce know, Ashli moved back to Montana four months before her death. On November 22, 2013, Kayce received a call no parent can prepare for from one of Ashli’s friends. Ashli was gone; her abuser shot and killed her. She dated him for twenty-two months and it came out after her death that her abuser forced her to have an abortion two weeks before her death.
Ashli’s life was cut short, but her legacy lives on through her memories. She used to rollerblade outside the bar and to her mothers work, waiting for her mother to get off so they could go in the bar and sing. The local bar would only let Ashli in with her mom present, they knew her and knew she liked to sing and just have a good time and she only drank water even when people tried to buy her alcoholic beverages.
Ashli always had an infatuation with police officers. No matter where she was, she would go up to them and ask for a picture. Her mother recounts her asking NYPD officers if she could have her picture with them when she was there to sing at Carnage Hall. She was not shy by any means and since her death, Kayce has also come out of her shell and has become more like Ashli. “I used to be shyer, but since her death, I have become more extraverted because she is with me, living in me.”
Not only does Ashli live on through her mom, she also lives on through her niece. Her niece, Addelyn, was born on May 22, 2015. Kayce prayed for miracle to show her that Ashli was still there the wake of her daughter-in-law’s due date. Addelyn’s due date was May 27, but Ashli did not fail because her little niece was born on May 22, exactly 18 months after Ashli’s death.
Addelyn was born with dark brown hair just like her father, but six months later it turned bright blonde, just like Ashli’s hair. According to her Kayce, her hair changed overnight, almost as if Ashli was saying she should look more like me.
Even more signs of Ashli’s presence are through Addelyn. Once when Kayce was babysitting Addelyn she heard Addelyn say, “No, that mine!” She was carrying around a little toy microphone just singing away. She asked Addelyn what happened. Addelyn responded pointing at an upper corner in the bedroom, “Ashli took my part.” She also has said multiple times that Ashli tells her she is pretty.
Ashli’s abuser has yet to be charged because he claims that Ashli committed suicide but, her mother has a hard time believing Ashli would ever do that. The case is still open and the sheriff remains in contact with Kayce to update and reassure her that the case will not be closed until he can figure out what really happened. But her abuser did not win because even though Ashli is gone in the physical sense, she is still around taking care of those closest her. She is a bright light that will always shine. She lives on through those close to her showing there can still be something good after something horrible.
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there is help. You can visit the Break the Silence website at www.breakthesilencedv.org or chat with one of our helpline advocates at 855-287-1777.
