Written by: KayLa N. Allen, MPH (Director of Operations, BTSADV)
Each of us experiences triggers and emotions from time-to-time. Today has been one of those days for me. School is heavy right now, and I am navigating through that as well.
As I watched one of my favorites shows, I saw that they had incorporated domestic violence into the script, and it bothered me most today when I realized that I had experienced some of those latent fears and worries, just as this character in the show had.
To top things off, while I was watching this show, I also happened to be filling out some paperwork for a new doctor, and two questions on there were:
- Have you ever been sexually abused?
- Have you ever been physically abused?
The answer to both was yes. I do not know why, but I broke down and started crying as I continued answering the probing questions. I think I felt a little embarrassed, and I immediately had a flashback to a few dark days. Now, of course, we all have to go to the doctor, and we all see or hear things that can be triggering at any level. Is it fair? No. However, we all have to learn that the pain of the past and label of “survivor” does not identify or own us.
As I navigate through life and evolve and getting closer and closer to whom I am called to be, I see how far I have come, and I am thankful for having overcome so much. Emotions are real. Pain is real. Navigating through the thought or feeling of both of them can be beyond difficult, but it is necessary.
To empower myself, I found a moment to listen to “Bird Set Free” by Sia and “A Little Too Much” by Shawn Mendez. The songs reminded me that in all things, there can be a day when things are difficult beyond measure, and even “strong” people can feel “weak” sometimes – but that is okay.
Somethings can get heavy. Some things can try and silence you. We must all remember that getting through life and being a conqueror and thriver in all aspects takes work. You do not have to ignore your feelings, but you cannot stay in them and learn from the lessons you are gifted with.
So, when your days feel low, and you feel like you want to break down and cry, do it. Just do not forget to empower yourself and find a glimmer of positivity afterward.
Nothing can ever silence me again. I will continue to Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence and live in my purpose, no matter how difficult things get.
**If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there is help. You can visit the Break the Silence website at www.breakthesilencedv.org, chat with one of our helpline advocates at 855-287-1777, or send a private message through our Facebook page.
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