Need to Know Facts About Domestic Violence. By Mikayla Shave

Domestic violence includes not just sexual assault or punching a spouse. Domestic
violence includes predatory skillsets—gaslighting, weaponized incompetence, and withholding of finances.

It includes an abuser isolating their victims in such a way that they may not understand their actions. It’s like a wolf hunting for prey.

They start with subjects who appear to be more isolated or vulnerable. Slowly chipping away at the victims’ self-esteem and cutting them off from the world around them.

Eventually progresses to complete and total control whether it be physical, financial, or emotional. Domestic violence includes rape, robbery, and aggravated or simple assault committed by those we love and have loved.

The Facts About Domestic Violence Don’t Lie

In 2012, 15% of all intimate partner violence accounted for violent victimizations, 4% was committed by immediate family members, 2% by other relatives, 32% by casual acquaintances, and 38% of these violent victimizations were committed by total strangers (Truman & Morgan, 2014).

Domestic violence does not exclude, it does not discriminate between races or relationships and the cycle will not stop until people join and stop settling for maltreatment.

Throughout 2003-12, intimate partner violence accounted for 14.6% of all violent
victimizations with 7.8% of that being committed by current or former romantic partners.

Systemic Issues

The way I see it, domestic violence is systemic. The question of whether men or women abandon or remain in a violent relationship is indeed the most frequent query in literature and the public in general. Even survivors ask themselves “Why did we stay for so long?” and “How could I have deserved that?”

Studies have shown that despite a good relationship between the victims and their parents, some perpetrators still successfully isolated the victim from them. (Pereira, et al., 2020).

If we take it a step back in time and evaluate systemic child abuse which can breed
personality disorders such as NPD, and BPD, and provide the basis for psychopathy. Studies have shown significant associations between the experience of abused children and adjustments across the lifespan.

Including in domains of mental health, physical health, and psychosocial adjustment.

While the United States has treatment such as evidence-based trauma-focused therapies (Carr, et al., 2018), do the abusers continue the cycle elsewhere? In their next relationships?

Over 14 out of every 100 American children from ages 3-17 are subjected to familial abuse and violence each year. With these numbers, the American prison system would theoretically be overloaded with inmates. Or so we thought.

Legal Reforms

In 1979, Sweden implemented a series of proactive legal reforms aimed at eliminating
corporal punishment of children within their own homes. The primary purposes of this ban were to recognize and affirm children’s rights to the security of the person.

Over time, Sweden has had dramatic decreases in corporal punishment, serious assaults are uncommon, and child abuse fatalities are extremely rare (Durrant & Janson, 2005). The phenomenon of child abuse is deeply rooted in our cultural and religious history—as old as civilization itself.

I’ve toyed with the idea regarding the serious lack of prison time spent for crimes against family as compartmentalization, in that judges and attorneys don’t want to believe these things happen to children or wives or husbands daily.

Personal Experiences

In my personal experiences throughout child custody court, even armed with state documentation and police reports, I was still fighting an uphill battle for full custody of my two small children.

As if the injuries that I sustained weren’t enough, my daughter suffered bilateral femur fractures at just one year old. The response from the judge: “It didn’t happen to your son, so you get 50/50 of him”.

America’s legal system is not preventative, it’s post-event. Designed heavily with innocent until-proven guilty mindsets. Children and loved ones are treated like sheep through the chutes.

The Courts Don’t Help in Domestic Violence Cases

In a study consisting of 1,698 children having been medically evaluated in 2013, and 2014 in Oklahoma, 477 (28%) of those children yielded a medical diagnosis of at least one type of maltreatment. Ultimately, further analysis yielded 115 unique court cases involving 138 defendants and 151 children.

Out of 286 charges, only 190 convictions were noted. Most suspected maltreatment cases seen by child abuse pediatricians did not result in criminal court outcomes—leaving them to go home with their abusers.

An Interesting Theory

Over time throughout my healing process, I’ve battled with endless theories on fixing the
domestic violence epidemic. One of which continues to bounce around in my thought processes.

This theory consists of holding domestic violence convictions in higher regard. With stricter
punishments and mandatory long-term therapy. As well as a register. Like that of sexual
offenders.

I believe that if the United States implemented a roster of sorts and mandated that anyone convicted of any domestic violence charges be consistently registered on this list. All in all, it’s just like holding sex offenders to mandatory guidelines like not being allowed within 50 miles of a school. It can be the same for any convicted of child abuse or endangerment.

As it stands right now, child abusers and domestic violence perpetrators can essentially hop from relationship to relationship without any real punishment. As well as no notification to future romantic partners.

I believe that a registry would be substantial enough for small-time offenders to seriously evaluate their lives and choices. While heavier prison sentences would create further hardships for repeat offenders.

Another Step Closer

The second step to my theory is for the government to provide long-term therapy to any
victims of domestic violence. With the government and tax dollars being required to cover the costs and foot the bills, this would cause heavy case reviews and bring more awareness to this systemic issue.

The government would want to see data outcomes and findings that could indicate improvement in suspected cases not resulting in criminal court. Currently, I’ve been partnering with various communities around Denver while attending school full-time.

As well as working not one but two separate jobs—all in hopes of connecting with the right people to help tackle this mission.

Another step closer to helping domestic violence victims and creating a safer society.

Check These Resources:

Support Line

Other Resources and Information:

References:

Carr, Alan, et al. “A Systematic Review of the Outcome of Child Abuse in Long-Term
Care.” Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, vol. 21, no. 4, 22 July 2018, p. 152483801878915,
https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838018789154.
Durrant, Joan E., and Staffan Janson. “Law Reform, Corporal Punishment and Child Abuse: The
Case of Sweden.” International Review of Victimology, vol. 12, no. 2, May 2005, pp.
139–158, https://doi.org/10.1177/026975800501200203.
Pereira, Miguel Esteves, et al. “Personality Characteristics of Victims of Intimate Partner
Violence: A Systematic Review.” Aggression and Violent Behavior, vol. 52, Apr. 2020, p.
101423, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2020.101423.
Truman, Jennifer, and Rachel Morgan. Nonfatal Domestic Violence, 2003-2012. Apr. 2014.

Need to Know Facts About Domestic Violence. By Mikayla Shave

The Facts About Domestic Violence Don’t Lie

Systemic Issues

Including in domains of mental health, physical health, and psychosocial adjustment.