My story – Ethel Smiter

I was the victim of domestic violence for 14 years until I decided to take my life back,but not before being spat on, stomped while I was 7 months pregnant with our daughter and being forced to play Russian roulette from sun-up to sum-down. I met him when I was 13 years old .He was 16 and I was not supposed to have a boyfriend, so I decided to sneak and see him behind my Mom’s back.She eventually caught me and I was severely punished. Despite that the strangest thing happened, my Mom had a long conversation with him and allowed us to continue seeing each other. But warned me not to get pregnant. The verbal abuse began right away and by the time I was 14 the physical abuse started Nevertheless, by the time I turned 15 ,I was pregnant. I decided to stop going to high school and that’s when the physical abuse increased.He began beating me every week I was so ashamed and hurt that I never told a soul not even my Mom. He would tell me to shut up, that I was dumb,that I was stupid, that no one would ever love me the way that he did. He threatened to disfigured me if I ever tried to leave him. Once I gave birth to my first child,I was able to get my own apartment in Cabrini Green Project he stopped beating me once I became pregnant with our second child and after given birth the physical abuse started again.I remember being in the kitchen cooking when he grabbed me from behind and dragging me by the hood of my sweatshirt all over the apartment, causing the sipper to cut my throat. He claim he was calling my name and I didn’t answer him. Shortly after that I found out I was pregnant..I was 17 years old with three kids and in a abusive relationship constantly dealing with the verbal emotional and physical abuse he would tell me it’s my fault that he hits me and that he only hit me because he loves me. I was living in hell with the bad choices I had made. He Isolated me from my family and friends. I gave up hope! I had no support system and one day I PRAYED so hard for strength. So on this one day I was cooking and he told I have a job I kissed and said congratulations and I walked away to my bedroom all I hear is him running and once he step in the bedroom he starts yelling B## ##you act like you not happy for me while throwing a crate at me and also picking up a Vaseline grease jar throwing that at me as well I dodge both items and then he pulled me from the bed to the floor stomping me and stomping me until he was exhausted I layer there and wished that I was dead but I received a breath of life when my 2 year old came and hugged me really tight that gave me courage to tell my family I made a plan with them and I left and never looked back. I sacrifice 14 years of my life years that I can never get back. I wish I could erase everything I had with him except my kids! I love my kids with everything inside of me but when I look at them I don’t see him, I see GOD and Love. I hope my story touches one person and so on. I will keep sharing my story on behalf of survivors and victims.
Love don’t hurt