Our sons and daughters are at the forefront when it comes to helping stop domestic
violence. What we choose to tell them and teach them about could make all the difference for the
future. It is important to be careful with how we teach the youth, while simultaneously
empowering them.
When beginning to teach about domestic violence, it may be helpful to start by teaching
our children about self-worth and creating environments where young people are able to express
themselves and ask questions. Being open-minded with children is crucial when teaching them
about things in life that we may not want them to know anything about. However, to help avoid
negative situations, we must be aware that they exist.
The first thing to do when teaching children about DV is to start with how they feel about
themselves. Creating a positive environment for our youth is the best way to open the gate for
good communication. The children play an extremely important role in creating a better future.
Reminding our sons and daughters about the power that they hold and creating safe spaces for
them to express themselves will allow for emotions and conversations to begin flowing. This
allows for better reception from our children and helps let them know how to handle situations –
whatever may come their way. This is important regarding domestic violence because of the way
we see victims and perpetrators act. There are common issues with communication, self-worth,
expressing emotions, etc. across victims. Perpetrators often have had troubled childhoods and
don’t view others as equal. Reminding the kids of today that they are all worthy of love and
respect can go further than we may think.
We must staple the idea of safety into the minds of children. The world is a very
unpredictable place, but the norms of relationships should be explained to children for them to
understand what is and isn’t acceptable. This goes for any relationship as a child, whether it be
with their friends, schoolteachers, peers, family members, and partners. We are all aware of the
basics: boys don’t hit girls, it is wrong to be mean to others, etc. But how much of this is taken
seriously by children? And how are these things being reinforced to ensure that our children
understand what is wrong and right behavior? These are the questions we need to ask ourselves
as we raise our youth so we can comfortably witness young people know how to handle certain
situations and treat others with respect.
Relationship skills should be established early on. Active listening, self-advocating,
and respectably taking in other opinions are imperative things to teach our children. Role-playing is a
great way to demonstrate these skills. Creating scenarios that put different skill sets to use will
help later when young people face issues in real-time. Developing relationships based on mutual
respect while also helping them understand when a relationship is not healthy is the best way that
we can ensure their safety.
There may be road bumps along the way, such as the idea of gender roles. Teaching girls
that they can rely on boys, or having boys grow up to believe they’re supposed to be “strong and
unemotional” are negative things for our children to believe. These are big roots of domestic
violence, and we must make our children aware that these are not things that should get in the
way of how they are treated or how they treat others. Boys are often met with the idea that they
must be the leader, and that can cause problems down the line by preventing them from opening
up emotionally, and then taking those emotions out on something else (as we see a lot of the
times in domestic violence cases). Girls should also continuously be reminded that gender roles
are no longer seen as they used to be. Children of all identities should be treated the same. The
sooner we teach our young to treat others with respect, while also respecting themselves, the
closer we get to a unified future.
There is not necessarily a right or wrong way to teach our children, and each lesson is a
learning experience for both us and them. As the world continues to change, we can learn more
and more about each other. This is the first step in creating a balanced role between all beings,
young and old. Letting our children know about the signs of danger in relationships is very
important. As well as being able to give them resources for when they notice a relationship may
be unhealthy. It is never too late to start teaching.
