My Story – Ariyana

My mother was kicked out of her house at the ripe age of 18 years old with just a job and a note from her father “you are not welcome back. Married at 19 years old because she had no one to go to in India with no other family. my mother, father and my brother. We moved to Australia in 2000 with no family, no support, just some clothes and passports .Their first week into their marriage he hit her in the eye which resulted in a black eye. Little did we all know we weren’t ready for what we would experience. A family of 4: I was only born when my mother was 36 years old. She was always a good mother and always tried her best to support us. For the past 15 years since, my dad was diagnosed with parkinson’s disease. I wasn’t aware of what would come from this until I grew older. As my mother who has been battling with this for her whole life she still managed to somewhat keep us kids hidden from the things. As I started to understand things more I would see my father hit my mother countless times. Now this isn’t just a domestic violence story. This is more than that. He didn’t just hit her, he abused all of us, his whole family with not just his words with his hand. She experienced horrible domestic violence before me and my brother even knew. Now you would ask why didn’t you just leave? She couldn’t, she gave up her career and herself with it. For him to be a better person. She not only gave her career up for him but also her life. She didn’t know what else to do; she had nowhere else to go. This resulted in him abusing drugs, alcohol getting drunk and all while being disabled. No one ever talks about how domestic violence is when it’s a disabled person doing it. Because no one listens, I am here to tell my story of my mother and i’s reality check with abuse and violence. She kept everything hidden i had no idea until i was about 14 years old i realised i dont have a normal family. Yes we are an ethnic Indian family but I never really knew how bad my dads disease was as it was deteriorating rapidly at the time. Now let me explain, first he was abusive towards my mother, he hit her, he punched her, he kicked her, hit her with objects, even worse. I have a core memory of when I was 7 years old. They got into a horrible argument and he made me watch him cut himself with a knife. I still remember that to this day. As he’s disabled no one knows what really goes on behind closed doors. He threatens to kill her, you may think how can he do all of this while being disabled. Well he wasn’t always just “Normal” he was diagnosed with parkinsons and he was going through alot i dont blame him. But his abuse never left. As he was diagnosed he had heart problems and also diagnosed with dementia, he lost balance in his legs and his hands were shaky all the time he couldn’t eat he was very slow. This didn’t stop him. Not at all. He wasn’t just like any abusive dad or any abusive domestic violence person. He was more than that. His health deteriorating rapidly my mother took actions to take him to specialists, countless doctors and even more to help him from surgeries to surgeries 10s of thousands of dollars her working for him to support us all alone. It got to a point where she couldnt do it anymore. She had a cry for help at the end of 2022. I experienced the views of domestic violence and drug substance abuse. I was just finishing year 11 when my life went downhill from then. He was always constantly drunk or high, he never showered, never brushed his teeth, walked naked around the house but drank and smoked everyday finishing at least 2 bottles of alcohol a day. I am worried about my mother. I cannot focus on school anymore. I have been disorderly out of my life and been stressed not only because of it but because of our financial state. Now at the beginning of 2023 everything has taken a turn for the worse. I’m in year 12 now 17 years old. I have experienced the worst of the worst. I am constantly keeping an eye out for my dad and constantly running around. I never have had the feeling of being relaxed or being a child i haven’t had a normal childhood since birth i want to share my story i want everyone to know they aren’t alone.
“We are struggling immensely. He is deteriorating rapidly with both mobility, paranoia and many other behavioural issues. We are desperately seeking a change of circumstances as we are unable to sustain, we are going days without carers as I am in full time employment and my daughter is in HSC we are mentally and physically under tremendous carer’s stress. Everything seems so difficult. I cannot afford a private neurologist anymore, He needs to be reviewed. I am unable to get him into any of the public hospitals’ Parkinson’s clinics. NDIS promised they will provide better support for both participants and carers. We need a permanent independent living facility for Him. I am a first generation migrant here and trying to stand on my feet on my single income paying for everything. We have no family or friends to support us through this long term illness. This long drawn process of assessments after assessments are wasting public tax money. It’s common sense that my husband, who has had Parkinsons since the last 15 years, is only getting worse, any health professional can see and know that”.