What Men Need to Know When Dating a Survivor of Domestic Violence

By: Clint Schiller

PATIENCE – is the first key attribute to have when dating a domestic violence survivor. They are usually not very willing to let you in.
UNDERSTANDING – not about what they have been through (this helps) but the kind that you know they have things they are going to need to work through in their own time.
RESPECT – Some things that may not seem very big of a deal in a normal relationship may be a huge trigger for them. Don’t disregard it.
YOUR MINDSET – Long-term Outlook- They may never fully get over their domestic violence incident.
STRONG – Not Physically, but Mentally, Emotionally, and physiologically. You cannot be faint of heart!
STABLE – You need to be consistent with your actions, words, behavior, and affection with them.
CARING – Sometimes words are not what they need. A Hug, kiss on the cheek, rub on back, holding their hand, wink, or just being nearby is all they need.
GOOD LISTENER – Make Eye contact, hold their hand, repeat back what they said. Acknowledge what they may be feeling or thinking.
APOLOGETIC – You are going to mess up when dating someone who has been through DV. If you haven’t been through it, you will never truly grasp the entire phenomenon of being a victim of DV!